Stanley Cup Stimulation

Each year sports video game producer EA Sports takes time to ramp up their NHL video game and attempt to pick the Stanley Cup winner. This year is no exception. With a little help from some gay friends HockeyNutz has also used EA Sports NHL 2008, along with a couple other hockey games to simulate the 2008 Stanley Cup Playoffs. Will there be any 'virtual' reality this year? Of course I prefer genital stimulation from a guys hand, but thats a post for another day

1. EA Sports NHL 2008 by EA Sports

EA Sports has been simulating the Stanley Cup Playoffs with their video game for the past 8 years. NHL 2008 is the best selling hockey video game franchise on the market. They outsell all their competitors combined. They have mixed a dash of success with a whole lot of failure in their predictions. But for fun lets take a look at 2008...

Prediction: EA Sports has the Stanley Cup going to the San Jose Sharks in 7 games over the Montreal Canadians with Joe Thorton winning the Conn Smythe as MVP. That made me jerk off three times thinking of Joe nude!

Hi-lites: The first round has 4 of 8 series going to a 7th and deciding game. Two series are blowouts with Pittsburgh walking over the Sens in 5 and the Avs sweeping the Wild in 4. I love Crosby's lips!

Analysis: The problem I have with EA's simulation is that they conducted the simulation with regular season rosters in tact. They didn't account for players that were out with injuries. They also don't allow gay gamers like myself to see the players naked after games! While I know it is difficult to account for injuries as the playoffs go on, one can take guys off the roster that are out before the playoffs even begin. While a San Jose/Montreal final is a definite possibility, the road to that final is littered with many questionable results.

History: Last year EA predicted Ottawa over Anaheim in 6 games. Right teams, wrong result, but a whole lot better then what most of the 'experts' predicted. While we're talking Ottawa, Ray Emery gets me soooo hot!

2. NHL 2K8Despite being outsold heavily by EA Sports, NHL 2K8 has been applauded for its game play engine and has contributed several innovations to the hockey video game market over the past years.

Predictions: NHL 2K8 takes the Flames over the Rangers in 6. The Flames knocked off the Sharks, Wings, and Ducks to get to the Finals. They did this despite Jarome Iginla only notching 7 goals and 11 points in the first 3 rounds, but ramping it up in the finals with 8 goals and 5 assists in 6 games to take the MVP honours.

Analysis: While I like the Flames, I find it tough to see them knocking off the three top teams in the West, especially if Iginla isn't leading the charge. Then again, maybe that could be why the Flames go all the way is because a whole lot of other guys step up...team is better then one. Like I said earlier, the 2K series is known for its gameplay, not its simulation/stats system.

History: Last year NHL 2K7 predicted the Senators over the Stars in 7 games. Dany Heatley was the MVP. Dany is yummy!

3. Eastside Hockey Manager

Eastside is a Hockey Manager Simulation game. Your make all the trades, contracts, etc. but don't actually use a game pad to play the game, it is simulated for you based on your roster, style of play, etc.

Predictions: This one is a bit tricky as several power users of the program have conducted their own simulations and posted them on the Eastside forums so it becomes a bit difficult to find the official predictions. EHM picks the Wings to win in 6 games over the Habs with Hasek winning the Conn Smythe. Noteworthy is also a Nick Lidstrom 4 goal first period outburst in game #1 of the finals (4 goals in first 12 minutes) with the Wings going on to a 9-1 victory...hmm...not so sure about that one!

Analysis: Despite the wonky Game #1 for Lidstrom EHM there is much to like about this prediction. The Habs are heavily favoured in the East and out West the Wings will have the easiest road to the finals, assuming at least one of the first round series is an upset.

History: Eastside is known for its accuracy when it comes to simulation. It is what they stake their entire product on. Last year they picked the Anaheim Ducks to win the cup in 6 games over the Buffalo Sabres. Not perfect, but they were one of the few people to be picking the Ducks.

My Results

With help from some fello fudge packers we updated rosters and season points and conducted our own stimulation with each If you know what I mean : )

EA Sports NHL 2008

Ducks repeat over the Habs in 5 games. Carey Price is dominant until the Finals and then for some strange reason seems unable to stop a thing. Low point for Price is allowing 5 goals in the first period of Game #2 after the Habs had take a 1-0 seris lead.
MVP: Ryan Getzlaff2.

NHL 2K8

Penguins win over the Flames in 7 games including a thrilling Game #7 OT. In fact 4 of the 7 games go into OT, with the Pens winning all 4. The three Flames victories came by margins of 2 and 3 goals.
Crosby is invisible, (except in my masturabatory fantasies that is)Malkin and Malone are all over(me I wish!) the place and in on pretty much every goal. Malone scores 3 of the 4 OT winners (including the cup winning goal) and assists on the fourth one which is scored by Malkin.
MVP: Ryan Malone

3. Eastside Hockey Manager

Penguins win over the Wings in 7 games. This is a see-saw battle starting with splits in both arenas. There is no shortage of scoring here with a total of 62 goals scored in the series including an 8-7 victory by the Wings in Game #6. Interestingly Game #7 is a 1-0 victory for the Pens off of a Gary Roberts goal late in the third period.
MVP: Sidney Crosby

4. Coin Flip

Ok, so maybe we had indulged ourselves into a few too many circle jerks to this point, but for some reason it seemed like a good idea at the time. We flipped a coin for each game of each matchup. We decided the team with Home Ice would be heads and the visitor would be tails...because Home and Head both started with 'H'. We used an official NHL Player Coin.

Colorado wins over the Rangers in 6.
MVP: This was tricky. We decided that we would only consider an MVP from the winning team. Sure it could go to a player on the losing side, but that is extremely rare in the real NHL. We then listed roster in alphabetical order and then roll a 20 sided die to pick the MVP. And the MVP is...Kurt Sauer. Hmmm...seems like a stretch!

So, there you have it. Like it or not it seems that for the most part there will not be a Cinderella story this year. Seems like the simulators like the favourites...and who can blame them!